Thursday, December 14, 2006

A Coupla Notes

Ending racism is sticky, I am finding. Sticky because some of it is still stuck to me (it's not me but it is stuck to me so far). Sticky because I get confused and blame other people for where I've not recovered my full power as a human. Sticky because there are people who don't like watching me become unstuck--and I let that bog me down. Sticky because it isn't ending overnight ... And sticky because even when I make gains in my racism deprogramming program, there are still the enormous structures in place which oppress on a wide scale ...

Now there's some work to do.

I want to celebrate though, for how things are on the street for me today. I don't walk around with my nose quite so high in the air as I did before. And I've dropped my aggressive and constant counselor mode, replacing it with the more realistic hang-out mode.

In private? I've been using a process of releasing emotion coupled with taking a definite concrete direction in my life to combat the installation of oppressor recordings. Specifics on that upon request.

That might sound like martian to some of you.

It's just what was offered me and I'm in the middle of the process actually. It's probably another ten years before I really figure this all out. And my dad just died and I'm really just needing to slow way down and grieve that. Grieve my marriage relationship--which is sorely strained. And make no other decisions at this time.

Meanwhile, things on the street--by that I mean being one of the folks, is sweet.


Anonymous orin21tv said...

Awesme! I’m definitely enjoying the information.

9:10 PM PDT  

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