Sunday, November 12, 2006

Special Time

Special Time with our children is a time set aside just for focus on one child. It is a time you as parent have agreed to not answer the phone or the door, not make a cup of tea, not think about your to-do list, not pick up the house etc.

Your child knows that you will be focused on her/him.

I like to use a timer because that further sanctifies the time. Until that timer beeps, it's all the young person's time.

The young person gets to choose the activity and gets to lead the activity. You get to be interested and involved but need to listen very closely to what the young person actually wants.

Very few rules are involved. Some I've found useful have to do with a $2 limit on expense, no breaking of property or injuring other people. When possible it is wonderful to set up a situation where your young person knows they can wrestle hard with you and/or hit you with pillows--even let some frustration show and you will not judge that but will welcome it.

You do have the right to say no to an idea because it might push some buttons of unresolved issues you carry. But the listening partnerships with other parents can really help out there!

Special Time, as we call it in our household, is different from any other quality time. We reserve the title Special Time for a certain kind of attention our young ones know they will receive during this time.

Sometimes that means only five minutes. Sometimes it can actully be 45 minutes or more. The timer is set and they're on!

It mainly depends on where the parent is at and how much support that parent is able to have set up for him or herself in their life. I offer listening partnerships for parents because it is a great way to get the attention the parent needs before trying to offer it to their child.

I am setting up regular classes for special time where parents can practice giving special time to each other and have listening exchanges to help release any tension which gets in the way of being able to offer this time to our children.

We will begin with an introductory talk and a showing of a video called Playlistening by Patty Wipfler.

For more information comment at this site or call Listening For Change at 503-341-0665.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is great. Could you give a story that describes what you did, what happened and what was the result? I have two colleagues two would value this information.

Thanks

Nick Heap www.nickheap.co.uk

3:02 AM PDT  

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