Thursday, September 07, 2006


Full Hearts / Peace / The Sun

"...So just look at them and sigh ... and know they love you. " Crosby Stills Nash and Young

Good morning. I'm full with joy and wanted to try and capture that on the page. I won't finish my morning pages until afterward. The flow of the universe seemed to be conspiring to rip me off for days and days and months and years even. (More details later lol) I have been not valuing my self and my time. There's a way that I have set my own needs aside for so long.

And I have hope that it is turning the other direction and I can actually resource myself, my home, and my goals for the life and the world I want.

Things are falling apart in the old way of doing it. It is so sad to know that children, especially, are living in war zones. It is sad to know the children here in the US that are hungry and not comfortable and the good adults around them that are not supported well and are hurting and in turn don't spend the time the children need for closeness. And don't have fresh foods and activities and supplies to provide the life the young people deserve.

I feel full and know that this is possible. We are a tiny speck amongst how many galaxies. Thousands? The universe is so vast. And so interesting. And like Ken Wilber says, "It's really wierd" that " anything is happpening" at all.

As something crumbles the new path has to come forth. The selfish, fear-based worldview is not working. I read a story somewhere about the killing as a solution and how no one ends up alive from that. It is completely senseless.

We can know the abundance. There is enough for everyone. And some people have these feelings of panic and it is intense. They feel they will "die" if they do not take all the resource they can get their hands on. I'm suggesting that those people need counselors--naturalized attention from us--they don't need to be taken seriously. This is a feeling they are having. It's not worth basing a whole system of capitalism on.

The system is based on the distress patterns of people who are hurt and scared. Then they turn and are violent and oppressive towards other humans. I think we can safely assume this is not what they really want to be doing. It is where they feel stuck into a corner. Again. Can others reading this grock that a *feeling* (from the past usually) is not worth basing present-time actions upon?

So, as I go through my day and organize my home and market my ideas; I remember that the purpose is to thrive within a matrix of other thriving human beings. The purpose is to connect and be whole in order to touch and love others' wholeness. The big picture. It's hard to think about Bush finally meeting with the black caucus just to try and say the right things and get their votes. It is clear from all the time that has passed that he doesn't have them as a priority at all. He needs help, not a presidential position.

I think that a clear thinking person--like Martin Luther King, Jr, was--needs to be leading this land. And the walls need to come down. There don't need to be anymore walls. Walls are not the answer. Walls are not the answer.

Opening our hearts, imo, is the answer. Reaching across superficial differences. Softening the hardlines about what is correct when it comes to personal beliefs that do not harm someone else.

My nephew told my kids while they were visiting in CA that loving someone of the same gender is "gross". I was pained to know that my kids had to hear this from an older cousin who they love and adore. This was something that my daughter just cannot grock--for she loves girls deeply. Luckily, my sister chimed in and said, "People can love whoever they want." This anti-gay stance is so common among young people and it is the cause of much separation and suffering. Particularly for those who do love someone of the same gender. There are so many teen suicides. Damn. It's harsh. Not to mention the fact that I believe it cuts us off from an entire aspect of our own hearts. It actually keeps us from loving ourself because, geez, we're the same sex as ourself!

I need to address this with my nephew but I want to do it without making him bad or criticizing him. I want to share with him all the things I appreciate about him and his connection with my children first. I am capable of standing up to something without throwing stones.

The chimes lightly clang in the yard. The sun is rising. My heart is full. "la la ... must find a code--that we can live by. " That song was going through my head this morning. I think I'm finding a code. A code with which I can live by--and live peacefully, creating peace, supporting peace, nurturing peace, seeing peace, building peace, crying peace, laughing peace, permeating peace, believing peace possible. Knowing peace is in our hearts. However clouded by hurt and fear, there is a place nothing has ever touched. It is the peaceful space lol. And we all are connected.

Geez.

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