Monday, August 21, 2006

My heart is on fire. My soul's like a wheel that's turning. My love is alive.--Gary Wright


I don't know about Gary Wright but I do know what those words mean to me. Racism is going to end. Our lives will be different. And how so?

For you see, the set up, the system as it is messes with all of us.

And we all have these places inside us where we have been targeted and where we have been oppressor. And at any time, any one of us, can start acting that out on other people--our own people even.

Let me spell it out for you. We all--black, white, brown and everybody--have been messed with. And we could keep acting it out on each other or we could see that there is no end to the killing, the suspicion. We are looking around and seeing the pettiness, the stupidness of the separation.

But I will tell you something else. White people need to do the work. We need to work our butts off. In many ways, we, I, you, do NOT know what work is. We don't know what it means to live with discomfort each day. With walking around where most people don't look like you do and the first judgment of you is on how you look not on how you are inside.

This is not a guilt trip. No. It's marching orders. It's time, right here in Portland Oregon. to meet as white people and I want you to take a good hard look at what is inthe way of you being close to people of color. Do this with me.

I hear all the bitching and moaning from the most unexpected places, "Oh, black people are so mean to me!" whine whine. Too bad. You get to keep working for racial justice and keep on reaching for closeness with those "mean" folks.

So my heart is on fire. I am motivated. Racism will end.

I won't stand for it staying. I won't stand for my friends of color having to choose between getting creamed for being weak or getting creamed for being angry. It just won't continue.

It's time to stop whining, stop the excuses, stop signing the checks and sending them off to far away places. It's time to have coffee with a co-worker, a neighbor, a relative by marriage, someone you keep seeing around but never fukking say hi to! It's time to do that in the spirit of "I'm a stupid fukk" and just get goofy and smile if you have to but start and do not give up!

And just listen and don't whine about your hard life or your damn headache or stomachache for godsake. You need to think of something positive to say. Talk about your children, something cute they did or ask about your new friend-for-life (I won't put up with any other attitude on your part) ask about their day, their child, their projects. Then and oh god, do I have to tell you this? Probably. DON"T try to "help" them with anything okay? You're their friend not a charity organization. That includes trying to help them figure out a problem. Just know that they think well and do NOT under any circumstances finish a sentence for this person or tell them what to do. NO NO NO ARgh all you stupid white people (my dear darlings come to mama) Later on after you have a connection with the person and you've done a lot of processing on all your superiority/savior patterns then you can help out if you have more resources than that person of color does.

I just don't want to ruin your chances at an equal and real relationship with this person.

This revolution is a one on one deal.

It's connecting and getting close over a long term period of time. It's not an experiment. It's not a "project" It's not a donation you're making.

You, imo, are saving your own soul by doing this lol. But you're also taking a very small step. The one which will move mountains.

Good night dears.

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